OhManItzTrishia

Trishia Nadine
18-years-old
William Paterson University
get to know me. I'm pretty awesome if I do say so myself =)

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I am PROUD of myself

I am honestly impressed with myself. People keep telling me that I am strong. I am the strongest person they have ever met. The first time someone told me that was during a group pray over in YFL. I remember when that person said that it really hit me. It seems lame to say that I went home and reflected on myself because of that but that’s what happened. I realized that I am strong. At the time I only had to deal with the fact that I lost my father. But even though I did loose him I had my mother with me. I wasn’t suffering alone. I still had someone there for me.

Now I’m hearing it again because I lost my mother, the last person I had to go home to. Now I’m alone. I have people supporting me but in all reality everything is on me now. Every time someone gave me a hug it was “stay strong ok?”. When people looked at me it was “you are honestly one of the strongest people I know” And I am. I am strong. I could have broken down, lost all hope, and dropped into a depression. It would have been understandable. From what I am going through I myself expected it to happen. But it didn’t. As nice as it was, I didn’t need those therapy sessions that I attended during winter break. I talk about what’s going through my head. I don’t bottle things up. I let it out. They never build up. My friends don’t blame me when I knock on their doors crying in the middle of the night. They understand. But it doesn’t happen that often. 

I handle myself really well. I know what kind of problems I might be up against. I now have the freedom to do what ever the hell I want. There’s no one there to stop me. My money is at my disposal. I can just spend it. But I understand that. I know that I have to watch what I spend. I even know when I do have a problem. I understand my problem, why I do it, and know how to fix it, and do just that. Like I know that lately I spend my money a lot, buying things online and at the mall. But I know that my mentality is that no one is going to buy it for me. There is no one I can wait for to buy me what I want. So either way I’ll be the one to pay for it so might as well just get it now. If I wait I’ll still be paying for it anyway. But I also know that I don’t have a house to just place all my shit in. So I shouldn’t keep buying things. Where would I put it and do I even need it?

I guess this was me self evaluating myself. I actually don’t expect anyone to read this since its so long. But yeah. I am a strong person. I know it. I’m proud of how I handle things. I’m impressed. 

  1. ohmanuh posted this